Spring 2022 Newsletter

I hope you're in the right line!  😁 

In This Issue: 

1. May The Month Be With You 
2. Great Opening Lines 
3. Scotland Tour Update 
4. Bonus Humor

"In honor of Tax Day, Hardee’s offered free breakfast biscuits if you said the password ‘made from scratch.’ Arby’s had a similar deal: They gave you a free roast beef sandwich with the password ‘made from squirrel.’" 
(Jimmy Fallon) 

"If you want my final opinion on the meaning of life and all that, I can give it to you in a nutshell. The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the combination is locked inside the safe.
(Peter De Vries) 


May The Month Be With You 

Yes, the news is crappy. Yes, we need some fun stuff to do and look forward to. Fortunately the month of May brings many opportunities for festivity and foolishness: 

  • May 1 - May Day, World Laughter Day, and Global Love Day. Wow! All of these on the same day! It's also the first day of Be Kind To Animals Week. You might want to get started immediately!
  • May 4 - Star Wars Day. May the Fourth Be With You. 
  • May 5 - Cinco de Mayo and Cartoonists Day. Celebrate both. Fun is inevitable. Tequila is optional. 
  • May 7 - World Naked Gardening Day and Join Hands Day. I know you can figure out a way to combine these. Report back asap. 
  • May 8 - Mothers Day (U.S.) Note to self: visit a mother. Bring food, flowers. 
  • May 12 - Limerick Day. "There once was a ramblin' musician / Who had a harmonious mission / Those whiny love songs / No longer belong / (...I need a last line...)" 
  • May 13 - World Cocktail Day. To celebrate your marvelous limericks. 
  • May 14 - Dog Mom's Day. No idea what this is. Good name for a band though. 
  • May 17 - World Baking Day and Work From Home Day. Uh huh. I see what's going on here... 
  • May 18 - Visit Your Relatives Day. In my family this would definitely be on World Cocktail Day. 
  • May 20 - Be A MIllionaire Day and Endangered Species Day. If every millionaire would give generously to endangered species, I believe there would be a lot less endangerment. 
  • May 22 - Sherlock Holmes Day. Not sure why this is a day. It's a mystery. 
  • May 25 - Geek Pride Day. Okay, fine. But what about an Analog Brain In A Digital World Day?
  • May 27 - Don't Fry Day and Cellophane Tape Day. Don't ask me how I know this, but Scotch tape does NOT make good sunblock. 

Great Opening Lines 

I'm delighted to report that the opening paragraph of my book Atilla The Gate Agent has found its way into the Great Opening Lines website in the wit-humor-parody-satire category. I recommend clicking "back to top" when you get there and reading through all the humorous openers. 

The website is created and curated by Dr. Mardy Grothe, bestselling author of Oxymoronica, I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like, and many more. Obviously a cool dude, and his site is a ton of fun. 


Scotland Tour Update 

Our Scotland Group Adventure is rescheduled for October 15-28, 2022. It's a fantastic itinerary at a great price. About 15 folks are signed up already, many of whom successfully and joyfully invaded Ireland with me in 2019. So I know it's going to be a terrific group. Most of these folks were also signed up for Scotland in 2020 when we had to postpone due to Covid. We only need five more people to make our minimum, and we'll probably fill up quickly now that I'm alerting the masses. Just $250 secures your spot. 

PLEASE: Before you email me with questions, first click here for all info and a full day-by-day itinerary. Thanks! 

Thanks to fellow traveler Marya Corneli for this cool Scotland towel 

As always, thanks for reading. I hope all your atoms are in alignment! 

Big Love, 

P.S.  I saw this and was gobsmacked. Also poleaxed and goggle-eyed. 
(Could be a song here....maybe a limerick....)