From the recording Greggest Hits Vol. 2

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Originally written with Richard Helm in 1988 (or thereabouts), then updated with new lyrics in 2,000. Periodically updated since then.

Lyrics

THE SHOOTOUT AT THE I’M OK, YOU’RE OK CORRAL
(Greg Tamblyn, Richard Helm)

I could tell that it was more than just a simple lover’s spat
When she called me compulsive, and blamed my Mom for that
I yelled "I’m not the only one around here with hangups, gal"
And thus began the Shootout at the I’m OK, You’re OK Corral

She called me a Martian, said I couldn't relate to Venus
Then she made some crack about the size of...the gulf between us
I yelled that radical forgiveness would not be her salvation
It wasn't what you'd call nonviolent communication

Ain’t no doubt about it, it was down and dirty now
It was tense, and hair-triggers at the I’m OK, You’re OK Corral

I could tell that she was closing in for the kill
When she started quoting Oprah, and spouting Doctor Phil
I knew that it was time to bring in my own hired guns
So I invoked the spirit of Sigmund Freud, and Carl Jung

I suggested loudly that she was anal retentive
She shouted I was emotionally unintelligent
Considering her anger I said that was pretty funny
She hit me with a copy of How To Love Women...for Dummies

I felt just like a mean old gunfighter facin’ down a former pal
Friends, the hot lead was flyin’ at the I’m OK You’re OK corral

We were dangerously close to the tipping point
When I heard my inner voice tell me: time to make a choice
So I said "Let’s negotiate, before we get too beat up,
If you’ll put the cap on the toothpaste, I’ll quit leaving the seat up"

So then we bonded, and we knew that we were both okay somehow
And this house just wasn’t big enough for another Shootout
At the I’m OK You’re OK corral

© 1989 Ramblin' Tamblyn Music, BMI
Taylor-Helm Music, ASCAP

New lyrics © 2009 Ramblin' Tamblyn Music, BMI, Taylor-Helm Music, ASCAP