Lyrics

A BRIEF HISTORY OF GOD (G-STRING THEORY)
(Greg Tamblyn, Richard Helm)

In the beginning there was lots of competition
Goddesses and Gods of every disposition
From merciful to mean, laid back to hyper
Little baby gods that flew around in diapers
Animals, pranksters, destroyers, creators
Flute players, lute players, nymphs and satyrs
So many gods it was hard to keep 'em sorted
God had multiple personality disorder

Keeping track of all these gods was no fun
Finally some people said, "Let's cut it down to one"
But the one God was angry, always finding fault
There was banishment, floods, and pillars of salt
Why? was God was traumatized at an early age
By standing too close to the Big Bang?
Was it nature or nurture, or Satan's little goblins?
God had anger management problems

God had other issues that messed with serenity
Like this long-term question of sexual identity
The feminine divine, or the male autonomous?
God was so confused, "Am I androgynous?"
And then on top of that, what was challenging the most
Was trying to figure out, "What the heck's the holy ghost?"
God needed time off, and checked into a clinic
Poor old God was becoming schizophrenic

While in for treatment, God sent some folks to teach us
Like Krishna, Buddha, Mohammed, and Jesus
On some things they agree, on many things they don't
And if you choose the wrong one, some say your soul is toast
Now everybody's prayin' by all these different rules
Muslims: five times a day, Buddhists quite a few
Hindus, Jews, and Christians, whenever there's a need
And Unitarians would rather plant a tree.

Well God's come a long way from that early dysfunction
Now science has brought us to this beautiful junction
The key to the theory is that every single thing
Is made up entirely of vibrating strings
This is what musicians have known all along
The universe is really one big song
Well there you have it, friends, that's the story so far
We're all just musical strings in God's big guitar.

© 2005 Ramblin' Tamblyn Music, BMI
Taylor-Helm Music, ASCAP