My New Brilliant Career

For co(s)mic reasons I can't explain or fathom, the Lords of LinkedIn have been looking out for me lately. 

They keep setting me up with brilliant, creative job suggestions like these:


I confess I actually have no clear idea what LinkedIn is for, or why I'm on it. I'm listed there as a Comedic Entertainer-Speaker-Author. And LinkedIn wants me to take those skills to not one, but TWO local car washes. (And a dance school. And a grade school.)

A few things are problematic about this.

First, they think I'm competent not only to entertain at car washes, but to be the LEAD entertainer, even though I've never done it!  

How can they possibly know if I'm qualified?

And what about my guitar with all that soap and wax and water flying around?

Furthermore, why are there all these car washes that need lead entertainers?

  • Is the Commerce Department aware of this massive shortage of car wash entertainers?
  • Is it factored into the statistics for unemployment and the health of the economy? 
  • Does anybody really have a clue how serious this is? 
  • Will it have a downward effect on our economic cycle?

I think you'll agree that something this huge but completely under the radar is alarming.

Finally - and most importantly - can you ever really get a good car wash without a Lead Entertainer?  

Evidently not.

     * So....for a reasonable fee....say $2,000.... 
      I will come to your house and entertain you 
      while you wash your car in your driveway. 
    ** Limited to temperatures of 73°F and above.

Leave a comment