From the recording Greggest Hits Vol. 2

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This idea came from a conversation about marriage with a twice-divorced friend, when he said, "Hell yes marriage is hard. Not even Jesus did it." (Bingo...)
The first three verses came fairly quickly, then events in the news mad me realize I needed two more verses.

Lyrics

JESUS WAS A BACHELOR
(Greg Tamblyn)

The man I most admire spread love throughout his world
The man I most admire didn't mess with girls
He looked around, saw the deal, said I can't do this
I'm gonna get my 12 best buds, go drink wine and fish

Jesus was a bachelor, and so was Buddha too
Could it be that they knew something more than me and you
Buddha cut the ties that bind and headed for Nirvana
Women tried to marry Jesus, but he said I don't wanna

Relationships take lots of time and compromise at best
Maybe all the saints knew they could never pass that test
Take Mother Teresa, she chose good works instead
They say nuns all marry Jesus, but, well, he's dead

Jesus was a bachelor, and so was Buddha too
Could it be that they knew something more than me and you
Buddha chose enlightenment over married life
Jesus couldn't save mankind and satisfy a wife

So if all your friends are saying I do, but you just won't
Take comfort in the fact that even Jesus said I don't
If you want to set your sights on more ethereal worlds
Don't let your lower chakras chase material boys and girls

Jesus was a bachelor, and so was Buddha too
Could it be that they knew something more than me and you
Buddha left his family for much less worldly pastures
Jesus was too busy getting ready for the rapture

Some folks now dispute this thought that Jesus was unwed
A rabbi, single? in those days? there is no way, they’ve said
As for me, I think the way of partnering is best
I’d like to be enlightened and still be having ____!

Jesus was a bachelor, well maybe, maybe not
Maybe he was married and that church in Rome forgot
Some say Mary Magdalene was wife and apostle
I don’t know what you think, but I say hey, it’s possible

There’s one more possibility we should not overlook
Maybe there’s another way that Jesus was mistook
I know what I’m suggesting is not what some want to hear
But if it troubles you, then it’s not love you feel but fear

If Jesus was a bachelor, then maybe he was gay
That would be quite frightening for some Christians today
They’d like to ban gay marriage, but the Bible’s been misconstrued
What kind of Christianity judges and excludes?

© 2003 Ramblin’ Tamblyn Music, BMI