Here's a quick story about an awkward moment. Maybe you've had one like it.
Several years ago I got invited to speak and sing at a men's breakfast group for about 35 guys. I don't recall what I sang or talked about, but I do remember in vivid detail what happened right before I started.
After I was introduced and before I could say a word, a large, distinguished looking man in a gray suit, seated quite close to me - about 10 feet away - said in a loud, commanding voice, "Before you start, I'd like to know exactly what your relationship is with Jesus Christ."
Oh.
It's THAT kind of breakfast group.
Now you tell me.
The room went quiet as a tomb. Turning to look at this guy, big and imposing, I recognized him. He was a famous local football legend, both college and pro. Probably 10 or 12 years my senior. I'd always been a fan and held him in high regard. Being in such close proximity, and being challenged by him in such a direct way in front of so many people felt intimidating. Like I was on trial.
So what to do? I'd never been blindsided onstage by this particular question.
But I had learned how powerful it is to not break eye contact with a member of the audience. Even when you're not speaking, Even when you're feeling very awkward and the center of attention. Even when you don't have a clue what to say. So I just looked at him for a minute. I tried not to stare, just make eye contact and hold his gaze.
Finally some words showed up in my brain.
"You know, I have a great relationship with Jesus. I believe he brought us the highest moral teachings of all time: to be loving, accepting, kind and forgiving. I've never met anybody who disagreed that those are good. And since I speak to all kinds of groups, all over the world actually, that's as deep as I'm willing to go up here on stage.
"Because if we start diving deeper into the details, eventually we're going to come to a point where we disagree on some detail. And once we disagree, we start feeling disconnected from each other. And I would much rather feel connected to you. It makes me happier. It makes me hopeful. So if you can agree that love, kindness, acceptance and forgiveness are good, then we should be okay."
Evidently that connected. At least enough that he didn't pursue it. Neither did the other guys. They just sat there, waiting. I guess they realized that was all they were going to get out of me on that subject.
So I launched into my songs and told a couple of stories. Later I found out I'd even made a couple of new friends.
BUT...
If I'd had the presence of mind to tell the following joke, do you think it might have worked even better?
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"
Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
This joke was written by the great Emo Phillips, and you can read more about it here.
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