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Authentic dark humor! Written by Randy Luton. Sung and played by me.


It used to be that Christmas time was filled with love and cheer
With Santa bringing lovely gifts to children far and near
But some say things are different now, there’s a rumor in the air
There’s been a famine in the northland, and Santa’s eaten.... his reindeer

Yes there was Prancer with paprika and noodles
Barbecued Blitzen with rolls
Dasher and Dancer in a potluck pie
And Rudolph in a casserole

What were the names of the others
Oh, it doesn’t seem to matter anymore
Maybe some of them will find their way to bullion cubes
And we can buy them next year in the store

Nobody knows how it happened
But people are depressed everywhere
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been bad or good
'Cause Santa isn’t going anywhere

Reindeer roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at their nose...

So let’s go tell the little children
That we won’t be having Christmas this year
'Cause if we don’t, we’ll be living a lie
For Santa Clause has eaten his reindeer